It’s interesting how some of the most successful people on earth have already shuffled off this mortal coil, as Prince Hamlet once mused in his famous “To be or not to be” soliloquy. He was debating, of course, whether existence itself was worth the trouble. It’s a fair question when you realize how many of the world’s most successful people are also, well, dead. It’s not something we talk about much in the personal growth world, but lately I’ve realized I’m being outperformed by people who haven’t breathed in centuries.

What Are Dead People Goals?

Somewhere between our quest for calm and our obsession with self-improvement, we’ve started chasing what psychologists call Dead People Goals, which are goals only a dead person could achieve perfectly. You know, things like never feeling anxious, never procrastinating, or never saying something awkward and replaying it for six years straight.

Take Vincent van Gogh. The man sold exactly one painting while he was alive. One. And yet, in death, his work is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Meanwhile, I have at least two people who have told me they would “totally buy” my book when it comes out, which, given my current pace, will happen sometime after my estate is settled. (Assuming I ever acquire an estate.)

Or Emily Dickinson, who published almost nothing while she was alive but is now considered one of the greatest poets of all time. I, too, have an impressive collection of unpublished work… except instead of profound reflections on mortality, mine are abandoned Word documents with titles like Book Idea #12 or Self-Worth and Other Things I’ll Get to Later.

Then there’s Benjamin Franklin, who managed to be a writer, inventor, politician, and part-time nudist (go ahead, look it up.) The closest I’ve come to that level of ambition is wearing pajama pants to a Zoom meeting.

So yes, it seems I’m being outpaced by the deceased.

Why Dead People Goals Are Deceptive

I’ve come to realize it’s not really their fault. Dead people, by definition, don’t have to deal with sleep deprivation, emails, or the existential dread of checking their credit score. What they represent, though, is something sneakier: the fantasy of escape. A life without pain, anxiety, or mistakes… the kind of peace we think we want, but that actually belongs to people who no longer have a pulse.

Psychologist Russ Harris, in his work on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), calls these Dead People Goals. These are goals only a dead person could accomplish perfectly, like never feeling anxious, never procrastinating, or never making a mistake.

Psychologist Susan David puts it more bluntly: Dead People Goals sound reasonable (“I just want to stop worrying!”), but they’re impossible. The only people who never stress about life are, quite simply, the ones who no longer have one.

Which means my dream of being wildly productive, endlessly calm, and blissfully unbothered is, in fact, a Dead Person Goal.

Apparently my perfectly serene self only exists in the afterlife.

Choosing Living Person Goals Instead

The truth is, while I may never reach the posthumous levels of van Gogh or Dickinson, I can at least stop trying to live like someone who’s immune to failure, doubt, or fatigue. Dead people may still manage to outdo me, but at least I get to keep revising.

So I’ve decided it’s time to set a few Living Person Goals, which hopefully won’t leave my eventual ghost shaking its spectral fist in regret. Unlike Dead People Goals, Living Person Goals embrace imperfection, favor action over paralysis, and celebrate the messy, unpredictable process of being alive. And here’s where I’m starting:

1. Finish something (even if it’s bad). Dickinson had editors after she died. I’ll have to make peace with my rough drafts being seen “as-is”.
2. Be okay with looking ridiculous. Franklin was both brilliant and naked. I just want to wear mismatched socks in public without spiraling into shame.
3. Create something I enjoy, even if no one else cares. Unlike van Gogh, I can appreciate my own work now, questionable life choices and all.
4. Let go of the idea that I need to be remarkable. Not everything needs to be groundbreaking. Sometimes, showing up is enough.

The Key to Escaping Dead People Goals

At the end of the day, the only way to escape Dead People Goals is to embrace imperfection and fully live your own life. We don’t need to wait for a polished legacy or posthumous success. We can create, laugh, fail, and begin again now. Life isn’t about erasing our mistakes or achieving some untouchable greatness; it’s about showing up, taking a swing, and making something while we still can.

So I suppose I have two choices:
A) Get my act together and accomplish something while I’m still breathing.
B) Hope someone finds my unfinished manuscripts, grocery lists, and half-written texts and turns them into a postmortem masterpiece.

Honestly, option B sounds pretty nice. But just in case, I guess I’ll finish this blog post, send that email, and maybe even water the plant that’s been praying for mercy. Small steps. Because unlike dead people, I still have time… and apparently, responsibilities.